white wolf
by Ayasha
Summary: after Ike's death Buck needs to find the meaning behind his nightmares.


**White Wolf**

By: Miakoda

It had been a few weeks since Ike's death, but Buck couldn't get over it. Ike had been his best friend, actually more like brother since the mission school.

"Buck!"

"BUCK!" Cody yelled.

Buck had been so deep in thought he hadn't heard Cody calling his name. "What is it Cody?" Buck Replied.

"Are you coming we got chores," reminded Cody.

"Yeah," replied Buck.

They headed out to get started on their chores. After the riders had left the bunkhouse Rachel said to Teaspoon, "I'm really worried about Buck".

"Why's that Rachel?" Teaspoon replied.

"He just seems so distant lately," she answered.

Later that night as everyone else in the bunkhouse had fallen asleep; Buck tossed and turned for a long time. Then when he finally did fall asleep he had a nightmare, the same nightmare he had been having since Ike's death. It was about a white wolf chasing him. It caused Buck to wake up every morning more and more tired, not only that, he had been taking as many runs as he could. He didn't want to stay at the station house for to long it, reminded him to much of Ike.

That morning Buck woke up before everyone and headed out to get ready for his run. After breakfast Buck left on his run, a two day trip to Blue creek. During the run Buck's lack of sleep was starting to catch up with him. His nightmare was starting to come to life. As the day progressed he started to see glimpses of white on the prairie. Then during a rest he decided to take beside a creek, while he was letting his horse get a much needed drink, he saw the white wolf that had been plaguing his dreams for the last few weeks. He was confused he wasn't asleep and yet he could see the wolf. He decided to pinch himself just to be sure. "OUCH," Buck yelled after he had pinched himself.

Well he wasn't asleep so why was the wolf right in front of him? He picked up a few big rocks to throw at the wolf, but it didn't budge Buck started to get worried. Then just as suddenly as it had appeared the wolf disappeared. Buck started to look around furiously where did the wolf go? Had I been dreaming the whole time? He needed answers to his questions, but he couldn't waste time on it now he had to get to blue creek. Buck continued on with his run.

When Buck returned from his run two days later, Teaspoon noticed that Buck seemed to look more tired than usual. "Son, maybe you should take a few days off," Teaspoon remarked.

Buck gave teaspoon a weary look "I'll be fine Teaspoon," replied Buck.

"You're running yourself into the ground Buck, you're taking the next three days off and that's final," ordered Teaspoon.

Buck knew better than to argue with Teaspoon. He would get his way one way or the other.

Buck went to wash up and as he was doing that he started to think about the white wolf again. He decided that maybe a three day vacation wasn't so bad, he could use it to find some answers; if not answers maybe some much need rest. He would leave at first light.

Buck found a nice spot in a grove of trees with plenty of protection. He had decided this would be the place of his vision quest. During his quest he would spend three days without food or water, praying to the gods for some insight into his dream. Hopefully when it was over he would have the answers he so desperately needed.

For three days all Buck did was pray, trying to understand what the wolf was telling him. He saw the wolf many times in his visions but before he could find anything out the vision would get to hard to see and he would come out of it. This happened many times till he realized to get his answer he would have to listen to the wolf. The wolf stopped chasing him and showed him Ike's grave, and what Buck had done during the shooting of his friend. What he discovered was that he was angry with himself because he couldn't do anything to save Ike. He viewed Ike's death as a hurdle he could not clear. Ike had meant so much to him and now he had been ripped away from Buck. Since Buck had figured out all these issues he was having maybe he could find peace. Now he could start the healing process.

After the vision quest Buck returned to the station. He was more cheerful then he had been in awhile. Everyone thought something had changed. After dinner as they all sat out on the porch of the bunkhouse drinking coffee, they questioned Buck about where he had been, and what had happened. "Where have you been for the last few days?" questioned Kid.

"No where important," lied Buck.

He was saved when Teaspoon decided it was time to turn in. Buck slept better than he had since Ike's death.

The next morning Buck woke up with a confidence that he would jump the hurdle that was Ike's death. He would always care for Ike, but Ike wouldn't want him to suffer over his death the rest of his life. Buck new it would get better as time passed. That's all he needed was time.

THE END


End file.
